This week has been maternal mental health awareness week. The fact that there even IS a week dedicated to maternal mental health awareness…or that “maternal mental health” is even a “thing” on our daily radar, is a huge positive change from when I had my first baby nearly 7 years ago (and really could have done with there being a comforting support network online – and in person – like there is now).
What would I give a new mum? A brilliant online campaign started by Amy Ransom, #whatidgiveanewmum, has triggered some wonderful online solidarity providing virtual hugs and biscuits for mums who might be struggling with night feeds, deranged thoughts due to sleep deprivation, and wondering whether they’ll ever have time to breathe again.
I think the main thing I would give a new mum – alongside sleep, and lots of tea, is FAITH.
Faith that you are “doing a good job”. Faith that you will sleep again. Faith that you will feel like “you” again. Faith that tomorrow will be better. Faith that it will be ok. Faith that people aren’t judging you the way you feel that they are. Faith to speak up. Faith in your instincts. Faith that This Too Shall Pass.
It can be relentless, this motherhood gig. And if we don’t catch it we can easily start to turn against ourselves, with negative thought patterns. With forgetting to nourish and hydrate ourselves properly. With losing any sense that we are worth basic self care of movement, sleep, joy.
If you feel yourself slipping down your to do list: try to have faith that you are worth considering in the pecking order. You are the organiser of the pecking order, so you need to be firing on all cylinders. Or at least on most of your cylinders. And to do that, you need to check in with you. Take a breath. Ask yourself if you’re ok. Tell yourself it’s ok if you’re NOT ok, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mum. You’re just having a tough time right now.
Sending you love, hugs, the remote control within reach, and lots of warm drinks. It’s going to be ok you know. How are you today? xxx
The Supermum Myth